somewhere in neverland
by sketch the stars
Summary: never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting / or, kristen gregory and her inner struggles with what her mind tells her and what her heart tells her / kristenjosh / halloween fic exchange for kayla!


**sum; **never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting / or, kristen gregory and her inner struggles with what her mind tells her and what her heart tells her / kristenjosh / halloween fic exchange for kayla!

**prompts; **kit kats, midnight kisses, couple costumes, & trick or treating

**dedication; **kayla (flying off to neverland)

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**.:somewhere in neverland:.**  
kristenjosh

/

_"never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting."  
-peter pan_

/

halloween is a night when all the little children dress up in their self chosen costumes, and skip outside into the chilly fall air, carrying bright orange (or some other color) baskets that resemble jack-o-lanterns. halloween is a night when all the adults are either handing out candy on their illuminated front porches, or leading their daughters and sons to various houses to get candy. it's called trick or treating, or, as the grown ups like to call it, the process of begging for candy that will only lead to rotten teeth.

kristen gregory is all dolled up in a princess costume; she is cinderella and has heavy makeup plastering her face. her dirty blonde hair is done up in a bun, and she feels like a princess. she _is _a princess, on that one night.

she grabs her mother's hand and skips into the chilly october air, leaves crunching beneath her feet as she makes a beeline for their neighbor's house. the doorbell is pressed before her mother even has a chance to catch up. "trick-or-treat!" she screams, smiling widely. their neighbor, mrs. platt, tosses a few pieces of candy into her bright orange halloween basket. kristen thanks her, and then she's off again.

all the other kids are dressed up as various other things. kristen sees pirates, witches, ladybugs, bumblebees, and the never-ending stream of princess costumes. there are even a few "big kids" trick-or-treating together, wearing couple costumes. she suddenly feels plain, just another one of the little princesses, fading in with the crowd.

she keeps her head held high, not wanting to let her crown fall. candy is gathered from the other houses, everything, from kit kats to twix bars to m&m's. her mother repeatedly warns kristen to not eat too much candy when she gets home, that it'll only make her fat and give her toothaches, but she's not listening.

she sees a boy. he has dark brown hair, almost black, and is dressed up like peter pan. he's running so fast he's almost flying, going from house to house at the speed of lightning, collecting ten times as much candy as kristen. they make eye contact quickly; it only lasts for a split second but it satisfies kristen. she watches as his plastic orange pumpkin swings around wildly. passing kids bump into her, mumbling, "move it, cinderella." she doesn't budge, though; it's as if her feet are glued to that one spot. he's disappearing, slowly moving out of her line of vision.

"are you ready to go home, kristen?" her mother inquires. kristen shakes her head, and continues skipping down the road. swarms of children push their way around her. she quickly blends in, joins in on the chorus of "trick-or-treat!" as the crowds approach house after house. the mysterious boy has long since been forgotten.

at the end of the night, she counts her candy. two hundred and seventeen pieces. she is elated at this number, and overjoyed that she was even able to count to that number.

her mother tells her that she is only allowed one piece per day, but kristen was never one to abide by the rules. her sneaky fingers latch on to hershey's chocolate bars, always taking more than permitted, going the extra mile. she is careful to discard all the torn wrappers and wash her chocolate stained fingers afterwards, leaving no trace that she was ever there.

after all, they say you should live your life to the fullest.

/

kristen turns nine, and her daddy tells her that her family has just lost a lot of money, to which she replies, "but daddy, can't you just make more money?", adding a head cock for good measure. her daddy smiles sadly, and leaves her alone. kristen is crushed, because he forgot to hug her, and he _always _hugs her.

over the course of the next few days, she notices that their food supply in the refrigerator is slowly dwindling down. kristen's favorite snack, animal crackers are gone.

she is not allowed to buy a new halloween costume, because of money issues, so kristen ends up wearing her old fairy costume from third grade. she feels overly fat in it, like the seams are going to burst at any second, leaving her to stand awkwardly in her underwear, humiliating her. every other fourth grade girl boasts about their new costumes; everyone's grown up now, gone are the days of princesses and fairy-tales. kristen just wants to follow the trend, to throw her fairy costume in the trash, but that would leave her with no costume, and isn't having a costume better than having none?

everyone shows up at school on october thirty first dressed as a vampire. kristen can't help but smirk and feel a little better about herself, because at least she stands out and is different and unique. even so, a nasty little bitch by the name of alicia rivera calls her costume "ugly," "stupid," and "immature."

kristen hides in the bathroom during the entire halloween parade around the outside of the school. surely, alicia has told the entire grade, perhaps the entire school, that kristen gregory is a loser. is that what she gets for trying to be unique, to stay young forever, rather than follow the vampire trend? she doesn't even like the _twlight _movies.

she crumples the fairy wings, because she won't be able to fly, at least not any time soon.

she comes to a conclusion: evil bitches crush dreams.

/

massie block's halloween masquerade ball is all everyone seems to talk about. luckily, kristen scored an invite, but it was only because she helped write the invitations, with her beautiful calligraphy. the westchester mall is visited by the few students of briarwood octavian country day high school lucky enough to earn a spot on the guest list. hoards of students march through every store, searching for the perfect costume.

kristen couldn't care less. isn't less always more, especially in the movies? she wears a simple black dress, fancy but not too fancy, pretty but not too pretty. her mask is also black. she glances at her reflection in the mirror, and, for the first time, thinks that she isn't ordinary, but extraordinary. everyone else will have overdone costumes, and she'll have something simple.

she arrives at the party, and is ignored by everyone. but she likes staying in the shadows; that way, she can quietly watch everyone without being noticed. kristen overhears some gossip that massie block has a crush on josh hotz. rumor has it that he's the boy in the pitch black suit. kristen's eyes scan the room and land on him immediately. the first thought that pops into her mind is, _i know him. but i don't know how i know him. _

kristen feels massie's eyes on her, and sure enough, they are. her amber eyes are narrowed menacingly. she suddenly feels another set of eyes on her. eyes that belong to a particular boy in this room.

that said boy makes his way over to her soon enough, and asks her to dance. kristen hears the sound of a cup of punch shattering to pieces on the ground. she laughs at she takes josh's hand. _karma's not pretty, bitches. _massie block, alicia rivera, and their whole little committee deserve this._ how does it feel, massie, having josh choose someone like me over you?  
_

they dance the whole night; kristen blushes the entire time. she doesn't think that josh knows who she is, but that doesn't stop the sparks from flying. not a single word is uttered by either of them the whole night, but the sparks still fly.

her phone rings; there's a text from her mother on her phone, it says, _be home by midnight or else. _

kristen gulps, tucking her phone away. she knew that there was something she had forgotten to do. she hadn't told her mother what she was doing tonight. she should've known that mrs. gregory always finds out everything, one way or another. there's no escaping her, no taking shortcuts. kristen feels stupid now, that she risked everything for a party.

the clock strikes midnight, and though kristen really wants a midnight kiss, she knows that she has to say goodbye, that she has to go. reluctantly, she mutters the words, "i have to go," then runs out of the building and down the steps, ignoring his cries of "kristen, come back!" she doesn't even have time to process the fact that _he knew it was her all along. _

she disobeyed her mother. all for a masquerade ball. and was it really worth it, in the end? were fairytale endings worth it? it's time to grow up, to stop having fantasies of a prince charming riding on a white horse to come rescue her. the problem is, kristen doesn't want to grow up, because what's the rush?

_listen to your heart_ doesn't apply here; the creators of disney obviously have not met mrs. gregory before.

/

she's grounded for two weeks; it's not like it matters, though.

after the two weeks are over, once she gets home from school, there's an envelope waiting for her on the table. the words _for miss kristen gregory _are written in shiny gold script on the cover. kristen approaches it, opening the envelope with trembling hands. it's a letter. an invitation to the finest school in new york. they want her to spend her junior & senior years of high school there. she has a scholarship, which is good, financially, but transferring schools means saying goodbye.

and she knows what saying goodbye means. kristen doesn't want to leave and forget everything. because in the end, the good memories overshadow the bad. kristen shakes her head quickly, trying to forget about it; she hasn't even discussed this with her mother yet, so why jump to conclusions so quickly?

she spends the next few hours confined in her bedroom, contemplating the situation at hand. then, the door slams and her mother is home. kristen waits a few minutes, allowing her mother to read the letter, then runs into the kitchen excitedly, quickly saying, "so?"

her mother heaves a sigh. "normally, in a situation like this, i would force you to go. but you're older now, and can make your own decisions. you have a week to decide whether you're staying or going." with that, she walks out of the kitchen and into her bedroom, the door slamming shut behind her. kristen leans against the counter solemnly, wondering how it was even possible that her life could be turned upside down, just like that.

leaving means a better education, ivy league acceptance, and major success in life. staying means friends, good times, and happiness. but her mother has raised her to keep her eye on the goal, to shoot for the moon (because even if you miss, you'll land among the stars). at fifteen years of age, she's learned that success comes first, and happiness comes second. lately, she's been wondering if she's been fed the wrong information.

her mind is telling her to follow her academic dreams (ivy league acceptance is not far out of her reach) but her heart is telling her to stay.

/

kristen digs her manicured thumbnail into the play button on the remote control, then sits back on her canopy bed, so princess-like, cradling her bowl of popcorn. she gets lost in a fairytale world instantly; it's mesmerizing. she giggles as peter pan takes wendy's hand and flies away with her; she wishes she could fly, but she only has fake fairy wings from old halloween costumes.

and once peter pan says those words — _never say goodbye, because saying goodbye means going away and going away means forgetting _— she knows what she has to do.

she reaches for her scratched up phone, not even bothering to pause the movie, presses one on speed dial, then presses the phone to her ear, holds her breath, and waits for him to pick up. "hullo?" he answers; it seems kind of muffled, and there's some noise going on in the background, perhaps something playing on a television screen.

"josh," she says, smiling. "i'm staying."

"long time no talk, kristen, after you ran out on me the other night," josh responds.

"i'm staying," she repeats, and without waiting for an answer, she presses end, then leans back on her bed, bicycling her feet in the air in happiness. she could never say goodbye to him, or to anything from her childhood. she digs out her old cinderella crown and places it atop her head. she takes the edges of the dress's skirt with her fingers, and twirls around, feeling like a princess. she is one. you just have to believe.

in the end, kristen never really grew up, but who said that was a bad thing?

/

halloween comes around again, a year later. kristen's ditched the princess costumes. she laughs at all the sluts from her school, going as princesses with ripped dresses, not to mention super short ones. she's over princesses, prince charmings, and happily ever afters.

she's wearing a simple pale blue dress. her dirty blonde hair is tied back with a matching pale blue bow.

he's wearing an older version of the peter pan costume from his childhood. normally, the girl would go as tinker bell, but this wasn't the usual case. wendy took peter pan's hand and never grew up.

kristen did the same.

**fin.**

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**notes | **hai. happy belated halloween. c:


End file.
